As a parent preparing for a divorce, your primary concern is likely to be the emotional well-being of your children. Separation of the family has the potential to significantly affect a child’s attitude and mental state, and even finding out about the divorce is sure to come as an unpleasant shock to your children.
That is why it is so crucial to take a thoughtful approach when breaking the news to the kids. By knowing exactly what you should avoid and what to keep in mind along the way, you can strive for the smoothest transition possible when telling your children that your plans to divorce.
Be open and honest
Keeping quiet about the details of your impending divorce may only cause undue anxiety and uncertainty for your children. Instead, be open about the fact that you are divorcing and be honest about the reason why.
Highlight the things that will not change
To a child accustomed to a certain family dynamic, divorce can be a time of turbulent change. You can alleviate your children’s worries by pointing out what will not change and how you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse will continue to care for them fully.
Avoid placing blame
Regardless of your own feelings on the divorce, it is important to not place blame on your spouse when telling your child about the divorce. Even if unintentional, this can be an example of harmful parental alienation that may permanently damage the child’s relationship with their other parent.
Broaching the topic of divorce with your children can be even more difficult than discussing it with your spouse. If you handle the matter calmly, thoughtfully and with a great deal of love and care, then you can ensure that your children take the news in the best way possible.